Sunday, May 12, 2013

Cosmo

So as music blasted from the kitchen, I started to wonder what I was actually doing, going to a house party at 21 years of age. With a dog named Cosmo and a bottle of Vodka weighing more than me, flowing amongst guests that I brought for the party, I soon realized that I wasn't in Kansas anymore (aka Manhattan).

Feeling like the mom of the group, as 18 and 19 year old girls entered the door wearing crop tops with skin tight pants and biker boots. Later on as they drank Bud light playing beer pong,  I also realized that the only male that was going to pay any attention to me was Cosmo, the dog.

After getting home at around 3 AM I realized that my days being young, are numbered. In life we all make choices, to go forward, to go backwards, or to stay exactly where we are for the sake of comfort. Yet ironically the process of moving forward is often moving backward.

At least temporarily.

So why are girls so vulnerable and naive believing someone's words that they have changed? I'm not going to pretend i'm Patti Singer, or some "expert at love" because I'm clearly not. Infact I have so many personal stories, that I often joke to my firends that I should probably just write a book about them all.

Throughout high school, I always went back to the same boy. Mainly because he was my first "love" and I wasn't ready to give him up, or move onto new things. It takes so much time to actually get comfortable with someone, and "time" translates into scary. It's easier to stay with known territory than enter old or brand new. But at some point in life we each need to realize: why we date, who we date, or why we do what we do.

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