Tuesday, July 30, 2013

A letter from JP Morgan CEO to Gold Diggers

JP Morgan Chase Letter 

 An alleged "young and pretty" girl posted a forum on a popular website, asking what she should do to "find a rich guy".

 Despite this screaming: desperate, low class and gold digger, I also have to add in that she clearly has no decorum. 

So lets read from the original source

 What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.
I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

-Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from the "apparent" CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty" and “money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

22 comments:

  1. Hello Darling,

    I loved this article, had no idea that this even occurred, great current event blogging.

    On a side note, with all these shopping discount websites, one website really strikes my interest, that is Net-a-Porter.com. What do you think of this shopping website? Who would you suggest this website for? Who started up this company, and is it really successful?

    -ShoeSnob

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello there! Net-a-Porter is great. It has actually been around since 2000, and originally founded by the current executive chairman, Natalie Massenet. The name derives from the term "pret-a-porter" (ready to wear) and there tagline "The world's premier online luxury fashion destination" explains all! I would suggest it for busy mothers, business women, and those who want luxury at the click of their finger tips!

    Hope all is well!
    xo
    Mercedes

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi, I think your site might be having browser compatibility
    issues. When I look at your blog site in Safari, it looks
    fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, amazing blog!


    Feel free to visit my weblog: pay per click affiliate program

    ReplyDelete
  4. cleveland cavaliers jersey, http://www.cavaliersjerseys.net/
    north face outlet store, http://www.thenorthfaceoutletstores.org/
    supra footwear, http://www.suprashoes.us.com/
    tods shoes,tods shoes sale,tods sale,tods outlet online,tods outlet store,tods factory outlet
    oakley sunglasses wholesale, http://www.wholesaleoakleysunglasses.us.com/
    tiffany outlet, http://www.tiffanyjewelleryoutlets.co.uk/
    true religion outlet, http://www.truereligionjean.in.net/
    chicago bulls jersey, http://www.chicagobullsjerseys.net/
    denver broncos jerseys, http://www.denverbroncos.org/
    los angeles clippers, http://www.clippersjerseystore.com/
    iphone cases, http://www.iphonecase.name/
    colts jerseys, http://www.indianapoliscoltsjersey.us/
    falcons jersey, http://www.atlantafalconsjersey.us/
    insanity, http://www.insanityworkout.us.com/
    fred perry polo shirts, http://www.fredperrypoloshirts.com/
    ray ban sunglasses outlet, http://www.raybansunglass.us.com/
    ray ban outlet, http://www.raybansunglassesonline.in.net/
    packers jerseys, http://www.greenbaypackersjersey.us/
    true religion outlet, http://www.truereligionjeansoutlet.com/
    hermes belt for sale, http://www.hermesbelts.us/
    mm1005

    ReplyDelete
  5. nike air max 90, http://www.airmax90.us.com/
    cheap jordans for sale, http://www.cheapjordans.us.org/
    replica handbags,replica handbags outlet,cheap handbags,purses and handbags,wholesale replica handbags,replica bags,bags outlet,replica handbags wholesale,cheap purses,discount handbags,handbags sale,wholesale purses,handbags and purses,replica purses
    cheap jordan shoes, http://www.cheapjordanshoes.in.net/
    new balance, http://www.newbalanceshoes.in.net/
    longchamp handbags outlet, http://www.longchamphandbag.us.com/
    hollister, http://www.abercrombie-fitch-hollister.es/
    ralph lauren outlet, http://www.poloralphlauren.us.org/
    christian louboutin,louboutin,louboutin outlet,louboutin outlet italia,scarpe louboutin
    lululemon pants, http://www.lululemonoutletstore.in.net/
    canada goose outelt, http://www.uggbootscheap.eu.com/
    chanel handbags outlet, http://www.chanelhandbags-outlet.us.com/
    moncler jackets, http://www.moncler.us.com/
    louis vuitton handbags outlet, http://www.louisvuittonhandbag.us/
    oakley sunglasses wholesale, http://www.oakley.in.net/
    ysl outlet, http://www.ysloutletonline.com/
    miami dolphins jerseys, http://www.miamidolphinsjersey.com/
    eagles jerseys, http://www.philadelphiaeaglesjersey.us/
    converse sneakers, http://www.converseshoes.us.com/
    louis vuitton outlet store, http://www.louisvuittonoutletstore.name/
    mm1010

    ReplyDelete
  6. Face book auto liker is mihanblog.com/ a interesting as well as one-of-a-kind apk that make Here car likes of your face book account choices and FB Liker Apk Download for iPhone, FB Likerle, Mac 2017 also other choices that you have blog post in your Facebook account. FB Liker Face book is the apk that make FB Liker App certain of that.

    ReplyDelete