Friday, June 28, 2013

The barbarian

I remember coming home from elementary school one day in tears because of the so called "mean girls" of my grade (I was about 11), and I specifically remember my mother harshly telling me that I better get used to it because nothing ever changes.

The Burn Book 
 Today confirmed that, when at 21 years of age I was getting the nastiest text messages imaginable from some creature (yes lets be nice here), assuming my blog post from yesterday was about her. Well, if it were-or if it wasn't-I can once again say I saw someones true colors.

So why are girls seriously so catty to one another? Men can have fights and get over it within a day or so, and im talking physical hard core fights. But girls? Not so much.

So what turns naive innocent cherubs who play with barbies and sit at a table drinking apple juice (so innocently) together at preschool, into monstrous women? We go from sitting indian style on a carpet wearing pig tails into ostracizing, gossiping, sarcastic, dismissive bitchy teenagers. Or at least some of us do, while embroiled in the classic adolescent hormone intoxicated years of our lives. While some may grow out of this form of character, others-not so much.

So as a woman myself you might wonder why on earth, Im being so misogynistic (aka sexist). Well, rest assured that this is an empirical statement not a personal one. In the past few decades, scholars from: evolutionary biology and cultural anthropology and developmental psychology have noticed that there is a striking difference in aggression between reproductive aged men and women. Teenage boys are prone to engage in direct aggression (physical acts of violence: like hitting, punching, kicking  etc) while women exhibit pronounced social aggression (such as the characteristics listed in the paragraph above).

Personally after the text messages I received today from this one person, I laughed them off rather than exploding off, of them and lowing myself down to that persons standards. But sometimes it's hard to brush the toxic words/people off your shoulder.

When it comes down to it, the best revenge is happiness and you should ALWAYS surround yourself with people who enrich your energy not drain you. The people who pull you up instead of pushing you down. And basically get away from the wining, needy, manipulative and negative people who turn a fantastic day into a living hell. Aka the toxics.

The best way to deal with toxic people is to not deal. Don't put up with someone who constantly tries to lower your self esteem or criticizes you.

 Really if someone is out of high school (aka over 18) and feels the need to bring other people down for no apparent reason, then the only thing you should feel for them is sympathy.

I have so many better  things to focus on-rather than engage in such pathetic behavior, or acting like a complete barbarian. So while there isn't quite a solution for bitchiness, I would have to say the best thing one can do is just ignore it. Don't engage in the drama, or certainly let it ruin your day.

If you don't care about the person saying it, then why care what's said?

Peach Champagne

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Guilty by association?

Being Judged 
Yesterday I was tweeting, when all of a sudden I asked my self: if your friends define you. The older and wiser I become, I realize that the people you surround yourself with, defines the person that you are (at least from an outside perspective).  

Derived from the title: Guilty by association.

I guess this first became clear to me, my freshman year of college when I became friends with a girl that everyone disliked. I'm someone whose friendly to everyone until you screw me over. So I gave her the time of day and given she was always nice to me, I was always nice to her in return. 

Later looking back at this alleged friendship, I realize that it was more of a "partying thing," than a "friendship" thing. I can name every club we went to on a daily basis during the summer of 2010, but yet I don't know what her major was, or what High School she went to. 

Rumors would go around about what a "bitch" this girl was, and soon enough we both got labeled "bitches". Within about 6-8 months of the school year starting, l I saw who she truly was as a person, and sadly but surly the rest of my grade-were right. 

But although our friendship died, my association and reputation didn't. I've even gotten told before by multiple people that because I was friends with this certain someone, they presumed that I was the same person that they were (aka a huge bitch). Which wasn't the case? 

As they say "never judge a book by its cover". Well, in this situation we can familiarize the fact that even the contents page of the "book" didn't look bitchy to me. But after a few months went by, I got to learn who the person really was and we later parted ways. P-a-r-t-i-n-g our friendship instead of partying our friendship. 

Years later and entering into my senior year of college this August, I can admit that closing this door of friendship almost three years ago, has opened up plenty of others. While I can't quite say I have the best reputation for choosing friends or boyfriends for that matter, what I can say is that each friendship teaches me something different. 

Personally I would never want someone to prejudge who I am, based off of who my friends are. Not because they are bad in any which way or form, but just because we are each individuals. I think it's important to get to know someones character before assuming who they might be, or assuming that they are just like their friends in every which way possible.  

When I asked other people this question, most parents said yes. Which I guess makes sense now that I think about it, because when we were each younger, no parent wanted their kid hanging out with the class rebel, or the class slut? Why? Because you would be guilty by association and if the class rebels doing drugs, you probably would be doing drugs also. 

I suppose it's a controversial question, with many different answers. So then aside from asking elder generations I also decided to ask some of my closest guy friends, who of course each had very different answers from one another.

 One said that if he first met a girl, who was surrounded by a group of girls conveying a certain appearance-he would assume that she was just like them. While another said that he would't judge a girl based off of who she was friends with because "then again whose opinions do you care about other than your friends." 

Girls on the other hand openly admitted to judging people by who they were friends with. "Obviously if Stacy is a bitch, then Maggie is also" simply because the two of them are best friends. (names have been changed) and then it ties in with-if you don't like Stacy you obviously wouldn't like Maggie or wouldn't like to like Maggie just because she is friends with someone you hate.  

It's a very confusing world we live in-but at the end of the day, weather we like it or not, we are always going to be judged by someone out there.  

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Barneys

So yesterday I decided to skip out on the posting, given that midterms are consuming most of my time (at the moment). So when I decided to check my phone to see what pictures I could post to update you on, thats when I realized that I haven't really posted a "picture post"  in a really long while (for me at least). So below are some pictures that update you on the past week or so.
A Yummy and Healthy NYC dinner 
Christian Loboutins 
The Best type of Cardio! 
A big kid..I forgot to add the .com into the equation 
The greatest pleasure comes from doing what people say you can't. Cooking an English Dinner from scratch. 
I just love the summer way to much! 
Elle magazine and Chandon. Somethings saying this is yacht appropriate! 
Children see the light in everything! 

Short Shorts. Who knew British people could get so very tan?!
Versace, Hermes, Oscar De La Renta and one rushing blonde 
A casual Lunch of Champions 
My latest shoe indulgence :) 

Monday, June 24, 2013

How about we...

So I guess you can say that last week was utterly terrible from start to finish. Between midterms, getting in a car accident, and learning of the passing of an old classmate and friends, from my days at Cold Spring Harbor High School. A friend who was a brief (childhood) boyfriend, my first kiss at our middle school dance, and the guy that made everyone laugh.

Death is something that truly terrifies me, yet of course can't be avoided. The truth is that none of us know when we are going to die, or when anyones going to die. We live a life full of expectation instead  of living for the day, and push the thought of dying, into the very back of our heads. While the right words are still scrambling around in my head knowing what to say, my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone else who grew up with zak and to all of his friends and family.

So on a little bit of a lighter note, (and completely different note) today I have had time to catch up on some school work and focus on things that matter, while the heat bolted up to 90 degrees I tanned for a little bit, then went back to working on my 1920s economic homework (fun I know). Then of course somewhere in between the mix, I got distracted and decided to download some new apps. Given that I frequently go on Guest Of A Guest, I've noticed this new advertisement that keeps popping up. It's a social media application called "How about we.." Which is a dating application for singles.

 The point of the application is to post dates, and press "Im intrigued" if your intrigued (the obvious) in someone or some date that someone posts. So   I decided to make a profile for the hell of it, to see what the fuss and hype was all about. While I don't believe in online dating (I believe in fate), nor do I ever want to say I met my future hubby on match.com or something of the like, what I can say is that the experience has been quite entertaining so far, as well as an interesting experiment .

So let me explain more into detail

1st) For the CLEAR clarification, I would never actually go on a date that someone asked me to online...unless I knew them through a friend or was introduced to them first (common sense/safety people)!.
2nd) If they are over 35 and single, there is probably a reason
3rd) I had a 39 year old, ask me on a date at 10:30 pm tonight (he had a turtle in his profile picture and looked like he was balding-no thank you )
4th) If you actually use "how about we"and you're considering going on a date with someone, I would do some research first to see if they are a legitimate person.
5th) Google tells you a lot about someone
6th) I have to admit it's a little bit of an ego boost when you get messages or asked on dates  (so if you need a boost of confidence you have nothing to loose)!
7th) The app also asks you questions, like what would you do if you won the lottery tomorrow, your life history in five sentences, and your first concert (talk about reminisce...I think mine was Madonna)!
8th) Another hint, if they ask you to a date over 10 pm...just don't go
9th) If your into the whole social media (non serendipity type love..) Dating then I would suggest going with a friend before you show up somewhere, and maybe wear sunglasses just incase he ends up being 20 years older than his profile picture, or looking like Ms Doubtfire.
10th) Overall: It does seem to be an OK application, its fun but of course not free. You have to pay almost $30 a month to be able to read messages, or $100 a year.

"How about we...go to the beach?" <--Example! 
What happened to just meeting someone? Are we honestly so socially incompetent that we can't meet someone without an application or a website? The way I look at it is that there is a plan for everyone, someone out there for everyone, and that whatever is meant to be will be.

So long story short, stop overanalyzing everything wrong you did with the last guy, stop talking about him or asking your friends what you possibly could have done wrong. It's not you, and there are thousands of reasons why he never called along with thousands of other people out there. If you haven't heard from someone 3-4 days after your date then: he's just not that into you. He didn't loose your number, his phone or his senses.

There are honestly so many rules about the do's and dont's of dating, that google can overwhelm you with countless results. At the end of the day "dating" is just a game that everyone plays.

Savvanah

Savvanah

Zara shorts
zara.com

Forever new
$46 - forevernew.com.au

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Hamptons


Selfie
The Cove 
Barnby's new hair cut wearing Ralph Lauren 
How Gatsby is my Garden?! 
East Hampton 
Wearing stripes and wedges 
My favorite salad ever-cucumber, corn, tomato-yum 
Mojito's 

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Chrissie Teigan


A girl wearing nothing but stilettos is every mans dream come true, but replace girl with Sports Illustrated model Chrissie Teigan: and both men and women dreams have come true. She’s what women desire to be, and what men desire to have.

Although she’s no stranger to stripping down, she recently did a completely nude photo shoot for GQ magazine, posing seductively against a window pane, while modestly covering her breasts and wearing nothing but a beige pair of Marc Jacobs heels. If that’s not enough to make you swoon, you should probably check your testosterone levels.

So where exactly did Teigan come from? Aside from the obvious, the bikini model’s fame sparks from posing in the notorious Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, four years in a row. But don’t let her natural beauty fool you. She’s also one who’s well known for her voice, and controversial arguments on social media networks such as twitter and instagram.

Chrissie Teigan 
Earlier this year she was given a red flag by instagram, for apparently posting a nude snap of herself while getting a spray tan. But Chrissie rushed to her defense telling GQ that it was her mother who took the picture. “What no one knows is that my mom took it! My mom frickin' threw me under the bus!” she said while laughing.

She has also been involved with the very troubled Amanda Bynes, who ironically called the swimsuit model “old” and “ugly” in one of her twitter rants. But instead of biting back, Chrissie decided to sympathize for Amanda saying that you should “Support people with mental illness, yes. But don’t condone/enable scary and poor behavior.” Opting to end the bizarre feud.

But taking the high road with Bynes doesn’t quite mean she will take the high road with others. Teigen has no shame sharing her thoughts, and earlier this year blasted infamous Farrah Abraham for being photographed buying a pregnancy test. “Farrah abraham now thinks she is pregnant from her sex tape. in other news you're a whore and everyone hates you whoops not other news sorry,' Teigen tweeted.

She may look like an angel, but don’t let her minimal make up and natural wave, fool you for one.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Whats your number?


What's your number? If you haven't seen the comedy, it's basically about a young girl counting the number of men she has slept with throughout her life, and not wanting to exceed a certain number.

Maybe it's something you have never thought about, deeply embarrassed about, or if you're a man-maybe you're keeping down a tally chart proud of all those one night stands you had throughout college (who knows) but it's been said and studied that both men and women lie about their alleged "number".

Personally Im honest about it because A) I see no reason to lie about it and B) I've happened to have serious boyfriends throughout my life-which most people know about. Inevitably if you haven't had serious girlfriends or boyfriends your numbers bound to be higher than those who have. But really, if
You don't want to know, don't ask.

And be warned that most people will lie about it. Especially men. Translate 17 into 27 (or more) and know that you should never ask questions you don't wish to know the answer to.

As I have been single for a while now I'm learning to enjoy whatever happens-rather than overanalyze whatever happens.Each date, you learn what you do want, and what you don't want in your future relationship ( with whomever) and as everyone always says "what's meant to be will be".

I had an ex boyfriend who always used to say: "never put all your crayons in one box" and thinking about it, it makes sense. There is a balance between friends and boyfriends, a balance between giving up your  life and having one, and if your with the right person they should understand that.

 I also think numbers have to do with who you are as a person. If you can go around having one night stands (without care) then good for you, but if your more of an emotionally attached person (in whatever regard), then that probably isn't quite you're thing. Personally I would much rather be in a relationship than date multiple people. But I'm learning that to be in a relationship with anyone, sometimes the best thing to do is date other people (before hand) to know what you want, and what you're getting yourself into.

So here is where that awkward friends with benefits/booty call part comes in. First of all if you're needy and wanting a relationship with a guy, he's probably well aware of it. He will feel it- even if you're not texting/calling him. This is because men seem to have a very good sick sense of it (or at least they think they do). And be aware that this type of behavior makes a man think  you want him to "change"his ways, leading him to want to stay as far away from you as possible. Until next weekend, when you're suddenly his third choice of the night (and he remembered he has your number). If a man feels like you are desperately obsessing over the situation turning into a relationship, he will escape.

So, if being a guys booty call or sexual side dish isn't quite what you're looking for-read on:

Cold fact #1: Just because you have sex with a guy, doesn't mean he will develop feelings for you. Although this should be a no brainer, it doesn't seem to be. Allowing yourself to fall into booty call status won't make him love you, care for you, or want to secure a commitment with you. Instead it devalues you in his book, and you to become less of a priority.

Cold fact #2: Sex with no strings attached means that he's not attached to you. Guys can have sex with a girl multiple times and even act nice, without desiring anything more from you. Since women tend to connect emotionally after sex, you might presume men do the same, but they don't. Unless he feels an emotional connection above and beyond sexual desire, your time together has an expiration date. The best time to establish an emotional connection is before you two sleep together opposed to after. If he isn't interested in locking you down, then there is a good chance that he is just bidding his time with you until something "better" comes along. Long story straight, if he can sleep with you and not care that you might be sleeping with other men-then he doesn't have an "emotional" connection.

Cold fact #3: If he really cares about you he will wait to have sex with you. A guy who bails because he didn't have sex with you by the third date,  has the word player scribbled all over his head. If he is trying to push you to far to quickly, then he is just looking to have sex. A man whose smitten and see's you as long term potential is willing to wait, and will respect you more for doing so. This shows him that you have values and self respect. These two traits are ones that attract quality men and inspire them to value you in return. By holding yourself and body in high regard, you become more attractive, not less.

To sum this all up, once you've become a "side dish" it's not easy to transform yourself into an entree.  It's important to figure out what you want early on, and behave accordingly. Thinking you can change someone is the most nieve thing ever, and honestly if you think about it-why should you have to change for anyone? or want to change anyone? You don't want to force a relationship from someone who isn't looking, and you also don't want to lead yourself up to thinking something will come from it, when it wont. If you have to question if  your someones booty call, then the only word you should be screaming is: next.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Art in meatpacking

Hamptons 
Macarons 
Pink Champagne Macarons 
Meatpacking district nyc 
Street Style 
New Sneakers from Nikey Towen