Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Caliente lluvia

10 Signs Your Relationships Over

Knowing (and admitting) your relationships over can be unsettling. I'm all for trying to rekindle things, but there comes a point where you need to stop acting like a doormat and give up on the person that's "just not that into you".

Recently, a friend of mine went through a breakup after being with someone for over a year. The longer your with someone, the longer it takes to get over them (completely), but if you look back on prior relationships-you realize it's defiantly possible.

Your heart isn't breaking, you're not dying, and theres plenty of fish in the sea that WILL be interested in you. After semi helping her through the tears and anger, we decided to conjoin everything that validates your relationships over.

1) You stop fighting. This sounds imbecilic, BUT people fight because they care. When someone stops arguing with you, it probably means they've stopped caring about you.

2) No trust. A relationship without loyalty/trust is nothing. In fact, a few years after a four year relationship, my ex got "loyalty" tattooed on his back. He was a big advocate on trust/loyalty throughout our relationship, yet ended up cheating on me anyway (well done)!

3) Starting fights. I'd say this comes from a guilty conscience. If someones trying to start fights with you over nothing, I'd start to question why. Then I'd check your actions on top of it. Technically if you're trying to hide something, you're not doing a very good job at doing so (hence the fighting). If you're not trying to hide anything, your free to post whatever you want. BUT it should raise an eyebrow why your girlfriend/boyfriend is questioning your actions.

4) All except kissing. This isn't a scene out of Pretty Woman. If you're sleeping together BUT your "partner" refuses to kiss you-this is a huge eye opener. Especially if you try to kiss him and he turns away (#embarrassing). Even Justin and Mila kiss in Friends With Benefits. Chances are, his just using you for sex (with no emotions involved). Kissing is intimate, which is why hookers and prostitutes refuse to kiss there clients. Unless you're a prostitute-don't act like one.

5) Lack of communication. Its 2014, if your communication does a 180-it's time to investigate why. If every response you receive is hours later, this should raise questions. Or if you only exist at late night hours. If he/she wanted to talk to you, they would find the time to do so. You deserve to be more than someones last priority.

6) Being bored. At the beginning of any relationship, romantic gestures come thick and fast. Once "hanging out" becomes boring-it's time to realize why. If theres nothing to talk about, and hanging out/talking becomes more of a chore, it's defiantly time to call it quits.

7) No effort. If someones always bailing on you, its because they don't care about you. A relationship takes two to tango.There should be equal effort on both sides. If you're the only one making the effort to see him/her-I'd start to invest it somewhere else.

8)No affection. If being affectionate has become a thing of the past, then your relationship needs an emotional overhaul. If you don't want to embrace the man/woman in your life, and wouldn't miss them if/when they move on, then its time to let them go completely. Games get old quick.

9) Thinking about other people. If you start "fantasizing" about other people and imagining your life as a single man/woman, then your relationship is well over. You're already emotionally detached.

10) No interest. You know your relationship is over when you become completely indifferent to your ex (or soon to be-ex). If you don't care what he/she does, where they go or whether you get to see him/her-then its time to move on.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Kindness is contagious

Standing up on the train with 500 bags, struggling to juggle and maintain poise-I looked around to see the (fairly young) "men" sitting around me. All of which were staring-yet not one person offered me a seat. I was raised with manners and have frequently offered my seat to the elder, or pregnant women. Yet not one person flinched at the blonde girl struggling to hold heavy bags, and apparently maintain her own manners (due to everyone else's behavior).

 The same thing happened today, which made me question everyones upbring in the first place. Clearly some people just don't have common courtesy, but the more I open my eyes to the matter-the more I realize how common it's becoming. Very few men still open the door for women or do kind gestures. In fact, very few men act like men period. I'm sure the same applies towards certain women, but still-I know I will raise my son to have manners starting from a very young age.

So back to my story: After walking 40 something blocks yesterday, I decided to be frugal and indulge in a McDonalds "kiddie cone" ice cream. Far from healthy (of course), but after an excruciating train ride and walk (in 32 degree weather and heels) I deserved whatever my heart/soul/stomach desired. Ahead of me was an older lady pushing a basket, juggling her own bags. I watched her leave, as she stumbled on the steps and dropped her bags. Without hesitation, I rushed to help her up and placed each of her bags back on her basket. I asked her if she was ok, while everyone else just sat around eating there "happy meals" or whatever was more important.

I'm at the stage where bending over is painful, so while she was struggling to get up-I was struggling to bend over! Yet she thanked me profusely for my help, that I didn't think twice about. Even if she wasn't thankful, I would still do the right thing.

The past few months have been some of the toughest ever. But I've learnt plenty of lessons. Mainly that many are all talk. People who promise to be there for you (no matter what) will disappear, promises will become meaningless, and you will quickly realize that the only person you can trust (or rely on) is yourself. The sooner you stop putting faith into people, the stronger you will become.

 This seems to stand for outside situations also. At this point, I shouldn't expect someone to offer me their seat-or a man to open the door- that way I would never be disappointed. So just as I was about to give up on chivalry, or kindness to begin with-I experienced a random act of kindness.

I was waiting for a friend by the subway MTA machines. I must have looked bewildered (or broke) because a man asked me if I was ok, or wanted a "swipe". I thanked him,  but explained I was just waiting for someone. So this all brought me back to the notorious/cliche quote "what goes around comes around" I truly believe that you get what you give, and that random acts of kindness can make all the difference.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Weekend munchies

First Mr Softee of spring :) 
Reminded me of Stella Mccartney!

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Reasoning & Interviews

Prior to the crazy (and very unpredictable) few months that I've had, I was always a strong believer that "everything happens for a reason" 

Yet sometimes it's hard to see the reason why something happens, especially at the time. For example: a few years ago, I was struggling to find an internship for school. I had a deadline, and every interview I went on seemed to go miserably. 

I sent hand written notes to publishers, reached out to friends in the fashion industry, and basically went in a big circle before finding an opportunity in marketing. The marketing internship was the last interview I went on, a day before the three week deadline was up.

 If you didn't score an internship by September 22nd, you failed the class that my school had creatively named "work project". This was my second (and last) internship at college. I was lucky enough to score my first internship with Henri Bendel in there visual merchandising department. Unlike my second internship "hunt", this was the first interview I went on, so I didn't have weeks of running around like a headless chicken. 

On September 21st I had three interviews. One was at a modeling PR agency, the second at Parker, and the third PromGirl. I didn't have experience in PR, nor marketing for which PromGirl was for, but I felt optimistic with experience in fashion-that I would get Parker. Needless to say, I was mistaken. 

Walking into the PR agency, I was greeted by a male who welcomed me with coconut water from there very modern, and very humungous clear refrigerator. The decor was modern and cubicles absent as everyone was sitting in a line, full of macbooks. It felt like a big lunch table, except for the silence that surrounded the white 5,000 sq Ft space. 

After patiently waiting, I was then greeted by two females. One of which immediately complemented my outfit and asked where it was from. The other, held my resume in silence.

They walked me towards two couches horizontal to one another. I remember thinking that (the couches) looked like something out of The Wild Thornberrys movie, but sat down opposite the women regardless.

 It probably didn't help that I had an interview at Dolce & Gabanna headquarters the week before, and since speculated an image in my head of the perfect work environment. This included, being surrounded by lush exotically rich clothing, and not coconut waters, or gray-asparagus colored couches. 

I guess I was distracted because I never got a call back, and until now-haven't shared my bizarre interview experience (which had more to do with my outfit-than PR). In the blink of an eye, I was suddenly in the elevator-making my way up to my second interview at Parker. I was dressed in heels and a dress, but greeted by my potential boss in sneakers and jeans. I questioned my authenticity in wanting to work there and after a five minute interview which ended in "do you have your own laptop"  ran off to my last one of the day. 

This interview was located near times square. I was pissed off, exhausted, and on the verge of a breakdown. I had less than 24 hours to get an internship, and my interviews were going awful. It's hard to get hired in any industry without experience, and the alleged "fashion internship" was more Microsoft than pencils. 

As soon as I stepped out of the elevator, my mood changed. It was girl heaven, full of pink, sparkles and unicorns. Ok-I exaggerated-but it might as well of been. My future boss was amazing, everyone was professional (in communication and dress code)! And although I had absolutely no experience in marketing, I ended up getting hired! She took a risk that I am eternally grateful for. A risk that led me to change my major in college.  I was no longer the "fashion merchandising" student but rather a student of marketing. 

By the end of my internship, I was offered a job and our social media had grown by 450% in the three months that I had worked there. Looking back, if it wasn't for my determination and hard work seeking an internship, I never would have discovered my passion in marketing.  Nor would I have gathered that styling was a passion of mine (which is something I also learnt from my days at PromGirl). 

So long story short, this is just one example how everything happens for a reason. Other things I believe are a result of "stupid mistakes" but sometimes, stupid mistakes lead us to the right places. 

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Exploring Manhattan

Sprinkles Cupcake ATM 
Given it's (sadly) my last month living in Manhattan for a while, I've decided to dedicate every day (over 50 degrees) to exploring. Today that level of exploring meant walking 64 blocks uptown, until my legs felt like they were going to fall off. Observant of the different worlds each avenue (and block) makes, I was careful to keep my eyes and ears wide open.

My morning started, walking my dog Barnby to our regular Starbucks. The good part of Starbucks mass marketing themselves on every street, is that you get an "intimate" four minute conversation with your regular barista that your on a first-name basis with. I don't have to open my mouth in order for them to make my venti coffee frappachino light, nor wait behind ten people in order to place one.

I then went to breakfast with one of my best friends.  The same best friend who managed to capture my excitement when finding a cupcake ATM walking across Lexington & 61st.

Four years ago, the same excitement would have been on my face walking into Juliet supper club together (that was until its demise in 2011 when the crew started to change). "It wasn't black Amex cards anymore. It was cash in rubber bands" said former doorman Ruben Rivera, reflecting on the clubs downfall. But clubs often die out once doormen lower there standards, and the novelty starts to ware off. These days Provocateur is considered one of the more exclusive places to be, alongside with SoHo house and Boom Boom room.

Once breakfast was over, the sun encouraged me to spend the day out. Starting on 55th, I worked walked my way uptown, attentive to the diversity. I saw NYC nanny's pushing bugaboos, couples walking to work, men on cellphones, women on cellphones, and then the uncategorized. I on the other hand, was the ditzy blonde who almost got hit by a cab at 10 in the morning, walking across the road instagraming.

As the boutiques along Madison Avenue were closed, I wondered into an empty Laudree and ordered a single vanilla macaroon eulogizing the new Nina Ricci box, and Marie Antoinette macaroon. Walking out, I had noticed the Christian Louboutin window from afar and wondered over to (also) eulogize over their white crocodile Pigalle shoe.

After ringing there prestigious doorbell, and finding out they were sold out in a 37.5 I continued on my journey uptown, until deciding to make a U-Turn and make my descent. By  that point, walking home seemed daunting. My legs were aching, my flats were causing blisters and I was exhausted from trying on 7 different dresses in Milly. None of which, appropriate for the occasion I was looking for.