• Mercedes Benstock

Do men expire?

Yesterday was one of the longest days ever to exist. Being waken up to a doorbell at 6.30 am, loosing 1725 words of an essay by 9 am, and having a cleaner here from 11.30AM-10.20 PM. All in the name of having a mental breakdown that my apartment was dirty.

I can’t even tell you what I even did other than buy $365 of face cleanser from Clarins, as well as googling every question possible I had in my head, reading 24 pages of cosmopolitan, and of course make up all 1725 words that I lost of my essay.

That being said one really great thing did come out of yesterday, and that was Barnbys future. Although his diagnosis is quite complicated, basically if I’m willing to give him an injection and medication daily, he will be ok.

It’s a hard decision to make, knowing that you will have to put your dog thorough some pain in order to prolong his life but, the way I’m looking at it: a) Barnbys a happy dog, and if he has to have a quick shot and some meds to live, then he would want to go through the two minutes of pain to do so. b) If it was a child I would do it c) I can’t let him die

So that is that. At least I know I tried (god forbid anything ever did happen to him), and If he’s brave enough to survive (the nightmare storm) Sandy, then he is brave enough to get some injections, at least until his Kidneys are better.

Ok so enough with that, and onto a much more invigorating topic-expiration dates.

It has been on my mind for the past few days, and the more I google it the scarier it becomes. When I type in google:Women’s expiration dates, the second search that comes up is an article claiming that women expire at 20.Yes, twenty.

While one of my “guy friends” argued that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” I stood there in shock reading deeper and deeper into the article, until I finally realized that what I was reading was absolutely absurd and sexist. If you’re a man who thinks you don’t expire then you’re the most nieve thing ever to live. Or the cockiest.

It’s not that men don’t expire, it’s just that women aren’t as low to publish an article about it. Guess what, If you’re a guy and in your thirties-forties, chance is-you have wrinkles, a gray hair or two and aren’t as hot as you were ten years ago, but us women just choose not to care. Much unlike men.

We don’t dictate your weight telling you that if you eat another nacho you’re going to end up looking like the fat kid in Matilda ( you know who I’m talking about), and we also don’t tell you that you’re starting to look like a skunk with that gray spot on your head.

Instead we focus on what’s right with you opposed to every little thing what’s wrong with you, and maybe thats a weakness women have.

But the truth is, it’s a two way street. Especially now that women are becoming more and more successful, the word “cougar” seems to be growing. Younger men are now going for older women just like older men go for younger women.

And it’s that simple. If women seemingly have an expiration date, then so do men. It’s a two way street, no matter how you want to rationalize it. In my head, I would much rather be with an older man because aside from maturity level, someone my own age is looking for a girl younger and we learn to accept that in High School when dating a senior in 9th grade is the norm. If your 40 and he’s 40, why wouldn’t he want someone younger? Youthful and exciting?

Yup-once again, scary. I know I will probably get tons of backlash about this article and im completely cool with it because every article published to earth about women expiring makes me want to heave. If your 20 dating a 80 year old, I doubt it’s because you’re deeply in love with him. If your 20 dating someone 20, then thats just leading to disaster (and I highly doubt it is ever going to work out between the two of you). Especially in 10 years. So in clearer terms. If you’re a women and you date someone older than you, you wont quote on quote: expire. If you’re a man dating someone older than you, then your basically already dating someone “expired”.

So cheers to being young, single, and far from worrying about ever expiring.