• Mercedes Benstock


I’ve got to be honest, I never actually knew the meaning of a frenemy until my 9th grade cheerleading tryouts. I had a “best friend”,who for privacy purposes I will change the name-lets call her Amanda. Amanda was quick to be my +1 to concerts, use my driver for school, and borrow clothes. She was even quick to “hook-up“(as us naive little children put it back then) with the boy that I was “seeing” behind my back. She was tall, skinny, brunette, and a complete backstabber.

When I finally made it to the piece of paper hanging between lockers, I read down the list until I finally saw my name, or well half of my name, which someone had kindly scribbled out. I asked for the nearest pencil and erased the scribblings while people went about their business-laughing. Amanda had also made the team, but when it came down to doing the round-off back handspring in front of our school for the pep rally, well-that was me.

Unfortunately my frenenemy encounter did not stop there, from one of my ” ex best friends” attending my senior prom with “my ex high school sweetheart” who had graduated, to an additional ex-best friend stealing my David Yurman bracelet, that was a gift from my father.

Theory has it that high school never ends.

There will always be people who are mean, backstabbers, those who are all talk, and those who just don’t talk.

These days, it’s hard to establish a friend from a frenemy, which can be defined as either an enemy pretending to be your friend, or someone who is your friend, but also a rival.

This portmanteau of friend and enemy, has been in writing since 1953. Business week even wrote an article containing the term, stating that “Frenemies” are common in the workplace, which I concur.

The worst part about a frenemy, is realizing they are not a true friend. Realizing that the only reason you were ever invited out, was to borrow those new Christian Louboutins, or to drink that new bottle of Cristal sitting in your fridge.

As they say-a leopard can never change its spots, and a frenemy can never change their envy.