• Mercedes Benstock


“Why don’t you ask a leprechaun for money? Because they are always short”-This was Mauros wise joke at 5 pm yesterday. After cracking himself up, I then looked at him in befuddlement as to why he thought this nonsensical “joke” that he had heard on the radio was so very “funny”(love you Mauro!).

We then decided to explore the “locomotion” going on within the city for St Patricks Day, and headed off to dinner. Except the thinking process, as to where we wanted to go off to dinner took us 3 hours.

Deciding between Marea, Casa lever, and Serafina. I then decided that I wanted frozen yogurt for dinner, and an Italian (non Irish) Mauro decides that he wants to participate in the festives and go find a liqueur store.

Finally heading out at around 8, we walk to “off the wall” frozen yogurt. Except it wasn’t quite up to par or off the wall. Having a diminutive selection of flavors, and toppings.

We settled for what was offered, and after Mauro finally believed me that all Liquor stores (or a great selection) of liquor stores were closed in Manhattan after 8 pm, we were walking back to the tram when I realized that I had no milk, and that the Duane Reade closest to where I live was closed for the night.

Settling that it was a good idea to now have (an oh so delicious)! Frosted flakes for dinner, we backtrack to a Duane Reade seeing drunks playing bagpipes, wearing quilts, with festive (very intoxicated) girls wearing head-toe green clothing, with light up four leaf clovers on their headbands (or bobbles, whatever we shall call them).

While Mauro was purchasing the milk (and waiting in an awfully long line), I decided to go try on some “Pop Sugar” nail polish, on top of my red gel manicure. Joking around, I draw a baby blue smiley face on my thumb, and walked up to the counter to show Mauro the piece of artwork.

Well, it takes him about 15 minutes to realize what I was actually showing him, by which time it wouldn’t rub off. So then I was stuck with an awful looking smiley face on my thumb (like I was 6). So I quickly ran over to the “tester” section of Duane Reade and repainted over the smiley with an additional red nail polish that I then fell in love with and decided to purchase.

Once we have a gallon of milk and nail polish, I see a bagel store from across the street. Insisting that I really wanted a green bagel for St Patricks Day, I grab Mauros hand as we run across the street and see a reflection of green bagels. We enter to find an old lady from out of state, ordering a selection of bagels, and finally after she was done ordering about 30, we get two green bagels with butter to go.

Just as we were about to call it a night with bagels, milk, and nail polish, we see a McDonalds. Of course expecting to purchase two ice cream cones, we then get told that the ice cream machine is out of order. So Mauro ordered french fries and the two of us started to walk back (with him gobbling down french fries, and me upset at McDonalds)!

Spontaneously I asked him if he wanted to walk 37 blocks to the nearest 16 handles. He said “why not” and the two of us started on our adventure. On our way we passed many pubs, many belligerents, and many sights.

We then somehow ended up in an area uptown where the health inspection letters in the windows were B, bouncers were screaming, and there was total debauchery surrounding us.

In the madness I (being the shopaholic that I am) spot a pedestrian with a Fairways bag. So I google the nearest Fairways and ask Mauro if he wanted to walk an additional 8 blocks past 16 handles. He was still on the lookout for an open liquor store, so agreed to walk to Fairways (that has a section dedicated to English food, which Mauro loves).

On our long walk together, we curiously try the green bagels, realize how awful they are and quickly throw them out. After finally finding Fairways, we walk downstairs to the British Isle, where I point out to Mauro what he would love and not love (his a big experimenter when it comes to food). Just as we were having a conversation about England, we suddenly hear an old lady down the aisle saying “Fuck the French” to a worker. We look in shock, and horrified as to what this frail little old lady had against the French, and look over. Once she noticed us looking she was shocked that we heard her “all the way down there” which was about 7 feet away. She then walks up to us and starts going on and on about her life, how “America” is the grandest place to live and that “other countries cannot compare”. Not knowing that I was from England, she then continues to go on about the rest of the countries around the world. Luckily she had nothing bad to say about England!

Hardly getting a word in, we finally walk away 17 minutes later. Parting ways, she then said that as long as she made the two of us laugh, her mission in life was complete. Rushing upstairs to make 16 handles before closing, we head to the checkout.

As paying, Mauro tells me to look behind. Questioning why I then look behind us to see an absurd line of 20 + people. I gasp and tell him that we need to leave ASAP before we get in trouble. We run out the store laughing, that our daft selves wouldn’t think to look behind us, before running up to the cash register. Who knew that Fairways would be so packed at 10.30 at night?!

Walking towards our way home, we surprisingly find a liquor store thats open, and I finally made my first alcoholic purchase being 21 (a big deal I know). The best part (despite finding a liquor store that was open past 9 pm) was that we managed to find the organic vodka, as well as “bubble gum” vodka. Ecstatic that I finally made my 21+ purchase, but not wanting to actually drink, we finally made it to 16 handles.

Mauro sits at the “bar” waiting, (with our accumulated bags) and I make the concoction for the two of us, that consisted of “Irish Mint,” “Sky Vanilla” and “Birthday Confetti”. Of course once getting to the topping section, they tell me that “they are out of mochi” (tear!). The best part of the DIY frozen yogurt experience, is releasing your inner child.

We then take a taxi home, and just as we are about to get in bed, my favorite movie serendipity turned on. It was a perfect night that goes along with a quote from the movie “When love feels like magic, you call it destiny. When destiny has a sense of humor, you call it serendipity.”