• Mercedes Benstock

The barbarian

I remember coming home from elementary school one day in tears because of the so called “mean girls” of my grade (I was about 11), and I specifically remember my mother harshly telling me that I better get used to it because nothing ever changes.

Today confirmed that, when at 21 years of age I was getting the nastiest text messages imaginable from some creature (yes lets be nice here), assuming my blog post from yesterday was about her. Well, if it were-or if it wasn’t-I can once again say I saw someones true colors.

So why are girls seriously so catty to one another? Men can have fights and get over it within a day or so, and im talking physical hard core fights. But girls? Not so much.

So what turns naive innocent cherubs who play with barbies and sit at a table drinking apple juice (so innocently) together at preschool, into monstrous women? We go from sitting indian style on a carpet wearing pig tails into ostracizing, gossiping, sarcastic, dismissive bitchy teenagers. Or at least some of us do, while embroiled in the classic adolescent hormone intoxicated years of our lives. While some may grow out of this form of character, others-not so much.

So as a woman myself you might wonder why on earth, Im being so misogynistic (aka sexist). Well, rest assured that this is an empirical statement not a personal one. In the past few decades, scholars from: evolutionary biology and cultural anthropology and developmental psychology have noticed that there is a striking difference in aggression between reproductive aged men and women. Teenage boys are prone to engage in direct aggression (physical acts of violence: like hitting, punching, kicking etc) while women exhibit pronounced social aggression (such as the characteristics listed in the paragraph above).

Personally after the text messages I received today from this one person, I laughed them off rather than exploding off, of them and lowing myself down to that persons standards. But sometimes it’s hard to brush the toxic words/people off your shoulder.

When it comes down to it, the best revenge is happiness and you should ALWAYS surround yourself with people who enrich your energy not drain you. The people who pull you up instead of pushing you down. And basically get away from the wining, needy, manipulative and negative people who turn a fantastic day into a living hell. Aka the toxics.

The best way to deal with toxic people is to not deal. Don’t put up with someone who constantly tries to lower your self esteem or criticizes you.

Really if someone is out of high school (aka over 18) and feels the need to bring other people down for no apparent reason, then the only thing you should feel for them is sympathy.

I have so many better things to focus on-rather than engage in such pathetic behavior, or acting like a complete barbarian. So while there isn’t quite a solution for bitchiness, I would have to say the best thing one can do is just ignore it. Don’t engage in the drama, or certainly let it ruin your day.

If you don’t care about the person saying it, then why care what’s said?

1 view